Be honest with yourself

Here's a challenging question to ask yourself: how many times have I been dishonest with myself?

After a long period of feeling blocked, work wasn't coming into my firm, income has been very low so far this year, I've been feeling stressed and unhappy I began to do something I used to do quite a lot. There's a book called, "The Artists Way," by Julia Cameron. In it is an exercise in writing to release blocked creative energy. The exercise is called, "morning pages." You write 3 pages (more or less) first thing each day. Just write about whatever comes to mind - no limits, or rules except to write what comes first. I had been doing that for a couple of years and business was great. It had plateaued and I wanted growth, but it had plateaued at a comfortable level. I chose to grow the business and expand my life. We bought a house and moved, we focused on a new service line and we ramped up our sales efforts. And the markets crashed. I got wrapped up in the negatives and focused a lot of my energy on them, even though, at the time we were not in bad shape.

I stopped writing my morning pages. That exercise had become quite an outlet for me. I could reflect, ramble, dream and choose. I expressed myself there. It was pretty honest and I got deep into some of my psyche. I found that by expressing myself honestly there I could shift what was going on in my life. And then I let life happen to me and got side-tracked. The reduction / decline began. It's been a rough year in financial terms, but when I reflect on it, there is still a great deal of opportunity / abundance there. I began to write again.

I regained focus and composure. Put things in perspective for myself. I have made some choices: the have more fun, play (unblock), relax (love myself), exercise more (love myself), truly appreciate the love that's around me (our cats, our dog, my wife), observe and appreciate the abundance of opportunities. Despite the slow down in client work there has been no shortage of opportunities to bid on, companies in search of improvements we can help them with, people calling for help. They might be blocked right now and unable to progress to contract, but that won't last - it never does. As I unblock, so will they. It's only natural that happen. If you've read the "Law of Attraction" by Esther and Jerry Hicks, then you'll know what I'm saying.

I've had to be honest with myself. The push for work was a push against lack. It was driven by fear. What you fear and give power to, you bring on. You give it energy and so you accelerate it towards you (or you to it). I've been told, time and again by The Wonders, to play, to stop pushing, relax, don't work so hard, simply choose and allow the abundance to come to me. I've resisted that advice. But it's all around me - why not just give it a try? So I am. I feel much lighter just from choosing to do that. I walked the dog - it was a good long walk with a loving companion who I hadn't been appreciating as I could. I just did the walk, enjoyed his company and felt really good about it. I felt connected in a way that I hadn't before, even though we've had him for about a year.

Being honest with myself has helped me see the ways that I sabotage my desires. I have allowed fear to overcome my thoughts and that led to control of my actions - all headed straight into whatever I feared. Time to unblock. Now that I realize that so clearly I can choose differently. I feel good in that choice too.

Being honest with yourself is critical to achieving what you are seeking to achieve - whatever that is. Pause, reflect, dig deep, don't judge what you find, just observe it and then you can choose. Continue or change. Honesty with yourself is the key to discovering yourself. Once discovered you can explore.