It's one thing to observe and talk, it's another to get out there and do it. Walk the talk - as they say. I had a realization today about walking my own talk and it fits well with the 6th guideline - don't forget to choose.
I get triggered by actions that are wasteful. When I see waste of just about any kind, it really bugs me. I get upset and physically I can feel myself tense up over it. Any waste. The other day someone's dog had been killed in the express lanes of a highway in Toronto - we drove by. How did it get there? There are concrete barriers all around. Obviously, it was released there by some careless, thoughtless and cruel person. Waste. I was upset. Last night we ran out of hot water here in my home. We'd had a new water heater installed that was high efficiency, but smaller than the old one. The new heater should be big enough for a family of 5 - there are two of us here. I expected energy savings and less fossil fuel burn. After a long shower my wife couldn't get the jacuzzi tub filled before the hot water ran out. Disappointing - yes. It also triggered me because a lot of hot water had to be "wasted" in a long drawn out shower for that to happen. I was triggered by that and by my wife's complaints that the tank is not sufficient for our needs. No consideration was given to the volume of water that had to be consumed for that to happen. I was triggered by that.
I talk about observing, allowing and knowing that I'm abundant, etc. But I was triggered by lack. Waste only exists if there is lack. Green arguments about burning too much gas aside, we do have abundant gas but times are tight. We don't have abundant cash to pay for it. I was triggered by that deeper fear of lack of cash. I pushed against it - I reminded my wife about the gas needed to heat that much water. Why not take a shorter shower? I can probably take 10 for each one of hers after all. All that comes from a fear of lack. How can I allow abundance into my life if I fear lack. I'm pushing against lack all the time. And by doing that, I'm giving it energy. I'm creating lack. It hit me this morning as I was writing in my daily journal. If I were walking my talk, I'd have allowed it and not been triggered. We'd still need the larger tank back again, but it wouldn't be an issue.
By choosing to know that I am abundant I move away from lack and the energy of lack. I bring abundance into my life. I allow it. I was pushing against it by giving power to my fear of lack.
It only takes a change in what I'm choosing. I choose to allow. Not tolerate - that's what I did up to now. I tolerated the wasteful behavior - tolerance is an allowance coupled with a negative judgment. It's really a form of passive aggressive push against what I don't want. And it gives that thing I don't want energy. Stop the push. Allow. Get rid of the judgment and tolerance becomes allowance. It's just a choice away.
I had forgotten to choose. Don't forget to choose.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Dear James:
ReplyDeleteIn this incident, your wife seems unwilling to allow or accept the fact that a hot water tank, no matter its size, does not represent an infinite resource.
Could not her willful insistence on using more than is available, perhaps anticipating your acceptance of her wastefulness, be interpreted as passive-aggressive behavior on her part? And by allowing such behavior aren't you just allowing someone else to erode your principles as you once again feel compelled to turn the other cheek?
Another detail I'd like to quibble about: your feeling that "Waste only exists if there is lack." I'd counter that waste only exists when one has the mindset that there are limitless quantities available of something. The more there is of something, the less valuable it seems. This smaller tank of yours may force your wife to re-evaluate the value of hot water, and as a result be less wasteful with it.
She might be just one cold shower away from having an epiphany!
By the way, I found your site via your FaceBook ad. Contact me at: uncle.ian AT gmail.com
Regards,
Ian.
You are quite right about my wife's perceptions. There is a reluctance to accept the limits we've imposed by the very choices we've made (the size of a tank in this case). Note however that we chose the limit. We could have kept the older larger tank that didn't run out. Digging into that a bit further I see the choice to change the tank was intended to improve efficiency - it's a bit newer, better insulated and smaller. The smaller was supposed to be a better match for the number of people in the house. Why did we choose all that? Conservation of energy which reflects a perspective of lack. We see the fossil fuel we use (natural gas) as a limited resource.
ReplyDeleteTo my wife, running out of hot water was a wake up (not quite the cold shower you suggest but the effect is the same). She has changed her habits already so that the resource isn't all consumed and she realizes that it is limited - limited by our choices.
I don't see any passive-agressive behaviour in her actions. She ran out of hot water quite unwittingly (you had to be there!). My posting of this could possibly be taken that way if she ever read it, but she doesn't so I'm not going to influence her behavior here (nor an I attempting to). I'm merely using this as a real life example from our own experience.
When I speak of lack I speak of a perception of it. Energy is boundless so there is no shortage. We may not yet have the ability to tap into it all, but it's there. Know that you are abundant!
Regards, Jim
here is what I wrote up on our writing board
ReplyDelete"I accept everything."
"I absolutely accept absolutely everything."